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When Rachael and Aaron Meir met in college in Colorado 20 years ago, their future seemed on track for children, the white picket fence, and everything that comes with it.
Until they took the time to talk about what they wanted.
A decade ago they decided they didn’t want children and that they were open to, well, opening up their relationship.
Today, the Meir’s are in a polyamorous triad relationship with Kasey Kershne. The group moved from Colorado to Gulfport three months ago and live in a home together near Boca Ciega High School.
Despite the Meir’s being together for nearly two decades, their relationship with Kershne is an equal one. That’s the entire idea behind ethical polyamory, says Rachael, a licensed psychologist.
“You’re just ingrained to believe this is how life is supported to work,” Rachael said. “But sometimes, one person can’t be everything for you.”
The three have separate dynamics with one another, each with their own relationship within the triad, as well as a dynamic as a group. They go on dates, scooter around town, have disagreements, triple spoon, and live a normal life like traditional couples.
The triad cites warm weather and lower cost of living in their decision to move from Colorado to Florida, despite Colorado having a sizable polyamorous community.
Florida, not so much.
“A lot of Florida isn’t friendly for our situation,” Aaron said.
Despite this, they traveled the state searching for a potential home, and settled on Gulfport after frequently visiting the St. Petersburg area. The three of them have posted their polyamorous status on various Gulfport Facebook groups and received overwhelmingly positive responses.
Well, not all positive, Aaron says. But for the most part, people have been understanding and willingness to learn.
“The idea of being able to walk down the street and all be holding hands … we didn’t want to hide ourselves for any reason,” Kershne said.
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Before the Meirs came out as polyamorous, they were part of the swinger community. Rachael, like Kershne, is a bisexual woman.
She was looking for a physical element of life that her marriage (while happy) was missing. However, the emotional connection of life with a woman was still out of reach.
“We did a lot of research on triads and ethical polyamory and how to do it in a way that didn’t make someone feel like they are a third, or disposable,” Rachael said.
Terms like “unicorn hunting” describe the unethical side of polyamory. Without proper care, a previously nested couple can exclude and make a third person feel expendable.
The Meir’s took to the popular dating app “Bumble” and sought out a third person.
They matched with Kershne, who had a bad experience in a previous throuple.
She describes not being allowed to sit in the front seat of the car or sleep in the middle of the bed. Kershne’s previous relationship eventually ended, and she wasn’t gung-ho about diving into another triad.
But, with the Meirs, it was different. After meeting, the connection between Rachael, Aaron and Kershne was instantaneous.
The key is education and understanding of these alternative types of relationships, according to them.
“I think there’s a space for it to be OK to have multiple partners and say ‘OK, monogamy isn’t the box I fit into,” Kershne said.
While gay marriage is legal in the United States, polyamorous marriage is not.
A polyamorous relationship can include any arrangement of genders, nonbinary people, even more than two couples, but it’s not recognized in the eye of the law.
“In a lot of cases, people are still living in the shadows,” Kershne said. “They are not protected like an LGBTQ couple would be.”
But with the changing nature of societal norms, perhaps it’s not off the table.
Find out more about the throuple on their TikTok and Instagram @triadandtrue.
